Light Head

As a tech savvy consumer I'm always looking for the most cutting edge, state-of-the-art goods too show off to my friends. I can always count on my screen shattered iPhone, or my PS3 to give me that boost of confidence I need to make sure I know I'm better then everyone. In such a fast paced world it's vital to stay straddled on the bull of technology or you'll just become a loser. Thankfully I am not said loser. I recently secured myself one of the most unimaginably, mind-blowing technological advances the human race has ever seen. The following is a review of this eye numbing gadget. My friends I present to you…"Light Head Magnifying Glass".

Before I rip open the irresistibly attractive cardboard box, to give this baby a test run, I have to read the warnings and directions.The packaging claims that "This item was developed under many years' manufacturing experience…",  good to know, because the rest of the box definitely gives me the feeling it didn't take very long to develop.

The boatload of suggested uses range from "Jewelry designer, beauty shop, beauty-maker, stamp collection, planter (for flower, grass)" to "Mold-Making" and "Elder Fishing Hobbier"…OK OK..what? Beauty shop? Stamp Collection? ELDER FISHING HOBBIER?!?!?!?! The author of these directions must have been drunk.  Who needs a pair of magnifying glasses to plant grass? What is an Elder Fishing Hobbier? And how the hell is my stamp collection supposed to use this? OK ENOUGH lets open this bitch up!

Oh wow.This thing looks like a piece of shit. I've just got the overwhelming sense that I've wasted a lot of money. Upon close inspection it seems as though there are a few things missing from this box. It seems like this thing was supposed to come with 4 interchangeable lenses at various strengths, 1.2x, 1.8x, 2.5x, and 3.5x. I only got the 2.5x. Thats really a shame because in order to plant my grass seed I really needed that 3.5x…looks like I'll have to make due.

Seriously….ok thats it…this review is over…If you ever see this thing on the shelf of your local Genovese, DON'T BUY IT!