The wooden man

Wooden Man.jpg

There is certainly no doubt about it, Gregory Ta was a committed student, but his constant nose bleeds caused him a lot of trouble. Sitting through college courses with tissues stuffed up his nose, wiping up blood off of the lecture hall desk, constantly having to run to the bathroom in order to change out the tissues, bearing the shame as uncomfortable classmates inch away from you. The whole situation was incredibly embarrassing. Hailing from southern Vietnam, Gregory was unaccustomed to the midwest's dry unforgiving winters. The summers were quite agreeable but as soon as November rolled around, Gregory's nasal hemorrhaging began. On one particular day, his nose would not stop bleeding. Blood flowed from his right nostril like the raging waters of the Mekong.  Not that he'd ever seen the Mekong but he imagined it might be quite like the blood running from his nose, albeit water instead.  Having used up all of his absences in Prof. Mishokowsky's Cross Cultural Interactions in Modern Europe course, Gregory had to think quickly. Think quickly he did. Though somewhat light headed from blood loss, Gregory ran outside in the wee hours of the frigid Minnesota morning to scour campus for a  surrogate. Finding a good-sized log, he rolled it home, dressed it in his clothing (ruining two of his favorite shirts), printed a picture of his face, glued it to the log, and attached a tape recorder. His roommate Mike Dungle had blacked out the night before from drinking too much and was undisturbed by all of this commotion. Though Gregory's participation grade would surely suffer, it had to be done. Minutes before the class started, the new Gregory Ta was slipped into his seat. Professor Mishokowsky never knew the difference. 

The End